Spider-Man

Let me preface this review by saying that I only saw the movie once, opening night, which makes this bit almost 2 months late. But this does not limit my ability to remember those key points that I will chose to make.

Spider-man was, in my mind and no doubt in others, the best “comic book movie” to date; and, knowing Hollywood’s track record, the best for a while. However, since I like to point out the flaws of any movie I see, let us begin by talking about the computer animations.

I haven’t seen anything look like that since, well since about 5 years ago. It was so obvious when the computer animation kicked in I felt I was watching the Sunday comics. Especially the rooftop-jumping scene, if we learned anything from the Matrix it should be how to make people jump across a roof.

Of course you could reproduce Morpheus’s jump with a paper cut out and string, maybe a rubber band and a paper clip as well, but then you’d have to hire MacGyver to put it all together. And let’s not forget about Trinity’s flight through a window, where she twisted in mid air rolled back down the stairs and then talked to herself in a condescending tone. Maybe it’s not a good idea to compare Spider-man to a movie with plot holes that put the Grand Canyon to shame, and lines like, “Hang on to Toto Dorothy, cus Kansas is leaving Las Vegas.” Whoa.

But I digress. If we want to compare it to a movie let’s talk about Clone Wars, in which Yoda kicks major CGI butt. Next time you want to do some animation with computers give Lucas a call, tell him I say hi.

There isn’t much more that I can pick on, except Kristen Dunst. Let’s face it, if it weren’t for her looks and nice rack she wouldn’t be in movies. No doubt she’s better than many a “hot babe” trying to make it in glitter land, but it’s not as if Hollywood is short on attractive leading ladies. It’s just a sad fact that female talent is almost, and I do mean almost, always inverse to chest size.

Now, I’m a cynic, so I can say things like that and get away with it, but here is why it happens. Hollywood producers, especially the men, are always interested in good T&A and know that sex sells. If a girl is hot, she doesn’t need to be great to make it. For example, Jenny McCarthy, Pam Anderson. etc. I’m not saying they are dumb or anything, just not great actresses.

Again, I digress. Bottom line, well worth seeing at full price in New York City; I give it 4.5/5 stars, 89% tomatoes, two thumbs up, and gold star on the forehead all at the same time. If you haven’t seen it, and it’s not at a dollar theater near you, rent it as soon as it comes out.